Insomnia

Being an insomniac and being a migraineur isn't the greatest combo.

Separately, those two things aren't fun.  Together - really not fun.

Well, about a month ago, I started studying for my licensing exam.  Which means studying about 10 hours a day, every day.  Which also means lots of stress.

Stress, migraines, and insomnia.  Incredibly not fun.

After getting 2 hours of sleep max a night for like 3 weeks straight, I finally reached my breaking point.  Physically and emotionally.

For some odd reason, I tend to have all my emotional breakdowns in my car.  No clue why.  It's just my place.

Well, Monday was meltdown Monday for me.

The stress, the exhaustion, the abuse I've been putting myself through, the frustration with self - it all came crashing down.

I ended up in my car, melting down, calling the doctor leaving some rambling message through tears begging for help.  I'd probably be embarrassed about leaving a message where I'm in total hot mess mode, but for the fact that my doctor has seen me at my best and at my worst.  So I allow myself to be okay with letting him see/hear me in hot mess mode.  After all, allowing him to see that side of me really has helped with our relationship and treatment plan.

1 hour later, I was off to the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills courtesy of my wonderful doctor - because Benadryl, camomile tea, hot showers, working out, meditation, combo of all the above was not inducing sleep.  

I've never been a good sleeper.  But these pills have made me realize just how bad of a sleeper I am!  I mean, I knew getting 2 hours of sleep a night was not good or normal.  But I honestly don't think I ever experienced REM sleep till this week.

I've been in bed, asleep, before 1am every night.  I'm usually up, wide awake, till 4am.  Ok, let's be honest, more like 5am.  So being asleep and staying asleep all night long is a totally new thing for me.  And I'm totally loving it.

My doctor has always harped to me how important sleep is for my migraines.  I always understood that.  But I never truly understood it till this week.  It's crazy how sleep really does help with the migraines!

Here's my only negative thought on sleeping pills -- for some reason, they take 2 hours to knock me out.  But, after about an hour, my legs are asleep (figured that one out the hard way).  My body is more eager to shut down than my mind, but isn't that how it often is?  

Despite everyone warning me about the crazy side effects, the only thing "crazy" I've done thus far is flipped my pillow over in my sleep.  I can most definitely handle that kind of crazy!

All in all, the pros outweigh the cons.  

And, while stress isn't all that fun, it's far more bearable (and easier to handle) than stress + migraines + insomnia.

Overcoming Vertigo

When I was first diagnosed with migraines, I was pretty quiet about it.  Mostly because I was still trying to figure out what migraines were and what having migraines meant to me.

About a year after I was originally diagnosed, the migraines became far more frequent and intense.  It was at that point where I was diagnosed as having chronic migraines.  I went from having maybe one migraine a month to at least 3 a week.

The more frequent the migraines became, the more vocal I became about having migraines.

I did that for numerous reasons.  The main one being I just wasn't able to do it all anymore.  I needed help.  And unless you tell people you need help, they don't know.

Becoming more comfortable with being vocal about migraines lead to two really neat things.  One, I was able to be more vocal with my doctor.  I could ask really incredibly honest and candid questions, questions that I may have previously googled to find an answer to.  I was able to sit down with my doctor and be completely honest with him about my fear of having a stroke.  And we had a really good, really lengthy conversation about my stroke risks, things that raised my risk, and things I could do to help decrease my risk.

The second really neat thing that happened was people started sharing their migraine stories with me.  I learned about different symptoms others suffered from.  Which helped shed some light on symptoms I had but didn't quite understand.  It helped me realize that some of what I thought was me going crazy was just the migraines.

The other night, a friend of mine texted asking if I ever experienced vertigo with my migraines.  When I told her I had, she asked me what I did for them.

Well, a few months ago, I was really struggling with vertigo.  I knew it was because I was getting close to needing another round of Botox.  But, it was miserable.  Being single, working two jobs, and going to school, the vertigo was just too much.  After a call to the doctor, I was told to start drinking Gatorade.

Ok, call me crazy, but I absolutely hate Gatorade.  Hate it.  I have yet to find a flavor that is somewhat bearable.  Upon advice from my doctor's secretary, I bought the grape kind (which tastes nothing like any grape I've ever had).  I also bought the low calorie kind knowing the vertigo was too much for me to go run on a treadmill to work off the amount of calories in a normal Gatorade.  I also bought the kind that was high in electrolytes and high in carbs (which also happened to be the kosher kind).

I quickly learned that sipping on the Gatorade was no way to help the vertigo.  I had to actually drink a fair amount of the stuff.  And the only way I could somewhat stand to do that was to make sure it was super super cold.

So, I passed this advice on over to my friend.  She then told me something that most people wouldn't find nearly as sweet as I did.  She said, "When my doctor isn't available, you're my next contact."

I often forget how lucky I am to have the doctor I have.  If I call his office, I usually get a call back with an answer in about an hour.  If I know my doctor's secretary is out of town, I have his email address.  Very rarely am I left to suffer wondering what to do.

I'm so grateful that I have formed the personal relationship with my doctor that I have.  Because, if nothing else, it has really helped me to not fear the migraines, to not fear talking about migraines, and to be comfortable enough to share my migraine story with others - especially in their time of need.