Insomnia

Being an insomniac and being a migraineur isn't the greatest combo.

Separately, those two things aren't fun.  Together - really not fun.

Well, about a month ago, I started studying for my licensing exam.  Which means studying about 10 hours a day, every day.  Which also means lots of stress.

Stress, migraines, and insomnia.  Incredibly not fun.

After getting 2 hours of sleep max a night for like 3 weeks straight, I finally reached my breaking point.  Physically and emotionally.

For some odd reason, I tend to have all my emotional breakdowns in my car.  No clue why.  It's just my place.

Well, Monday was meltdown Monday for me.

The stress, the exhaustion, the abuse I've been putting myself through, the frustration with self - it all came crashing down.

I ended up in my car, melting down, calling the doctor leaving some rambling message through tears begging for help.  I'd probably be embarrassed about leaving a message where I'm in total hot mess mode, but for the fact that my doctor has seen me at my best and at my worst.  So I allow myself to be okay with letting him see/hear me in hot mess mode.  After all, allowing him to see that side of me really has helped with our relationship and treatment plan.

1 hour later, I was off to the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills courtesy of my wonderful doctor - because Benadryl, camomile tea, hot showers, working out, meditation, combo of all the above was not inducing sleep.  

I've never been a good sleeper.  But these pills have made me realize just how bad of a sleeper I am!  I mean, I knew getting 2 hours of sleep a night was not good or normal.  But I honestly don't think I ever experienced REM sleep till this week.

I've been in bed, asleep, before 1am every night.  I'm usually up, wide awake, till 4am.  Ok, let's be honest, more like 5am.  So being asleep and staying asleep all night long is a totally new thing for me.  And I'm totally loving it.

My doctor has always harped to me how important sleep is for my migraines.  I always understood that.  But I never truly understood it till this week.  It's crazy how sleep really does help with the migraines!

Here's my only negative thought on sleeping pills -- for some reason, they take 2 hours to knock me out.  But, after about an hour, my legs are asleep (figured that one out the hard way).  My body is more eager to shut down than my mind, but isn't that how it often is?  

Despite everyone warning me about the crazy side effects, the only thing "crazy" I've done thus far is flipped my pillow over in my sleep.  I can most definitely handle that kind of crazy!

All in all, the pros outweigh the cons.  

And, while stress isn't all that fun, it's far more bearable (and easier to handle) than stress + migraines + insomnia.