Isolation Cycle

I haven't been the best blogger.

I think part of the reason I'm not a great committed blogger is because, somewhere, I got the idea that I should only post when I have something encouraging and uplifting to say.

Yes, it is great to see that people with chronic migraines can live life.  But, no one lives an absolutely perfect life.  Life is full of ups and downs.  Why should living the chronic migraine life be any different?

I've been having a down day.  Correction.  I've been having a down week.

Migraines can be/are very isolating.  Because of the pain, the sensitivity to light/sound/smells, migraineurs often spend a lot of time alone.

Having a lot of alone time usually means you don't have the most amazing social life.  Because unless your friends suffer from migraines, they don't truly get it.

I know I spend too much time alone.  Even when I'm not having a bad migraine day, I usually prefer to be home alone.  I guess it's just become my "comfort zone."

I often find myself getting frustrated with myself.  I know I shouldn't be spending this much time alone.  But I am.  I know I make excuses to spend time alone.  I'm probably the most awkward person I know, particularly when it comes to social settings.  So, if I can find a way out of having to put myself in a social situation - especially one where I know I'll be forced to put myself out there and (heaven forbid) actually have to talk to people I don't know - I'll find that way out.

It's become a cycle.  This continuous cycle that I don't know how to break.  Because every time I try to break it, I find myself coming back to it.  After all, it is my comfort zone...