I am trying.

I haven't posted in months because I've been struggling to put the pieces of my life together.

Shortly after I made my last post, I was offered a job.  A good job, doing what I wanted to do.  Just not in the exact location I wanted to be in.  But it was too good of an offer to not accept it.

The job required me to move further South.  If I thought I had seen Southern hospitality before this move, I was mistaken.

But, the problem with this job is that it has taken my employer months to process my paperwork.  In the process, I've been told numerous different stories as to why it has taken so long.  Some of the stories even contradict other stories I was previously told.

I moved.  I gave up my familiar.  I gave up what I had made for my life.  I gave up what friends I had worked so hard to make (because I am the worst at making and keeping friends).  I gave up an amazing support system.  I gave up more than I've ever given up in life for a move.

And, in return, I got a whole lot of loneliness.  Loneliness and more rain than I've ever cared to see in my life.

I'm incredibly unhappy.  But, I'm trying.  I'm trying to remain optimistic that my employer will call me one of these weeks to tell me they're finally ready for me to start.  I'm trying to push my incredibly introverted self to be outgoing.  I'm trying to be friendly and force myself to smile, even when all I want to do is cry.  I'm trying to make friends, even though I can't seem to find people with similar ideals (and close in age) as me.  I'm trying.

There have been more bumps and bruises on this portion of my journey than I would have liked to experience.  But, I am trying.

I have to believe that if I keep pushing forward, one of these days, these pieces of my life will begin to fall into place.  I have to...

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