Saturday, October 13, 2012

I've made a mistake...

A few weeks ago, I had this breakthrough realization regarding my chronic migraine life.

After my diagnosis, I made one big huge mistake.

I let it define me.

I let being a chronic migraine sufferer define me.

You know how some people define themselves by their roles - a teacher, a parent, a sister, an advocate, etc.?  I have been defining myself by my diagnosis.

But, here's the thing... My diagnosis, while it is a part of me, it isn't who I am.

For the past few years, I've let being a chronic migraine sufferer be who I am. 

There's so much more to me than just my diagnosis.

So, I've embarked on a journey to find who I really am.  Being a chronic migraine sufferer isn't who I am, it's just something that I happen to deal with - just like others may happen to deal with a broken bone, or a bug bite, or a cut/scrape. 

While I'm not quite sure who I really am right now (hence this journey), there are a few things I do know about me.  First and foremost, I am a follower of Christ.  I have devoted my life to the Lord and to doing as God commands of me.  I'm also an advocate.  I am a daughter, a sister, a friend.  I am a giver - I want to help others any way I can.  I'm an organizer.  I am a problem solver.  I am a fighter - I don't give up without a fight.  I am a child of God. 

Did you notice that being a chronic migraine sufferer didn't make that list?  I purposely left it off.  Because putting it on that list would be like saying I'm a broken toe survivor.  Yeah, I've broken my toe.  Yeah, it totally hurts.  But I don't meet people and say, "Hey! I've broken my toe before. So nice to meet you!"  That's totally ridicilious sounding, right?  Well so is choosing to let a diagnosis define me. 

There's far more to me than just a diagnosis. 

It's taken me a long time to realize this.  But, once I had that breakthrough, I realized there was so much in life I was missing out on because of the way I had chosen to define myself.  Notice how I worded that - the way I had chosen to define myself.  I put myself in that box.  And now, I'm taking myself out of that box.

So, here's to starting a journey outside of the box - a journey to find who I truly am.  Because, somewhere inbetween being diagnosed and making myself stay in a box defined simply by a diagnosis, I've lost sight of me - I've lost myself.  Here's to finding me - possibly for the first time in my adult life...

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