Confused Nerves

A few months ago, I posted about my experiences with getting Botox as a treatment for migraines.  (Check out that blog post here)

I'm like clockwork - every 12 weeks, I'm in Dr. S's office getting 31 injections.

Well, because of things I'd been facing in life around that 12 week mark, I ultimately cancelled my appointment.

Normally, this is not something I'd recommend.  Seriously.  Once you get on a 12 week schedule, stick to it.  It's honestly what's best.  12 weeks is just the perfect amount of time where the shots start wearing off.  And before things can get too bad, you're getting reinjected.

But, I'm currently 4 weeks past that 12 week point.  Which means my muscles are starting to move again and my nerves are starting to come alive again.

I live in The Deep South.  If you thought August was hot where you live, seriously, come down South.  Not only are things bigger down South, but they're far hotter as well!

I took up running a few months ago.  Today, I was that idiot you see out running when it's 100 degrees outside.  But I had to get in a run today.  And, honestly, the time I ran was the best time of the day I could have gone for a run (and the coolest daylight time).

As I was sweating profusely, my nerves decided that, now since they are slowly coming back to life again, they should react to such extreme heat.  And so they did.  By sending out cold signals.

Yes.  I was totally sweating like a man with goosebumps all up and down my body.

The first time it happened, it was slightly scary.  It was a new experience that I had never experienced before.  I didn't know if it was normal, unhealthy, bad, etc.  But now, it's getting to that annoying point.  While I'm glad my nerves aren't quite alive enough yet to send out legit pain signals, it's frustrating to be standing out in 100 degree weather looking like I'm freezing cold.  Because I'm definitely not.  I just have very confused nerves currently.

Next week will be the 5 week past 12 mark (aka the 17 week point).  Luckily, next week will be the week these nerves will yet again be injected.

Until then, please excuse me while I sweat profusely while looking like I'm freezing cold.  Because I'm totally not.

Panic Attacks

Around the time my migraines went from being occasional to chronic and severe, I started experiencing panic attacks.

I tried taking daily medication to help control them, but it left me feeling numb and sent my depression in a crazy downward spiral.

So, I resorted to learning how to cope with them naturally.

Which worked wonders.

That is, until I started down this path that has really got my life turned upside down.

Doctor gave me some Xanax to help deal with the attacks when they come.  Which works great.  That is, if you catch the attack early enough to take the meds before it escalates into extreme panic attack.

Extreme panic attack happened this morning.  Worst one I've ever had.  And I was alone.  No one around.  No one to talk to and get my mind off it.  Alone.

I knew I couldn't call my family because they were all either at work or out of town.  I knew I couldn't call my close friends because they were also at work or unavailable.

So, I called the one person I knew would answer and help me - Dr. S.

In between quick shallow breaths with tears streaming down my face and focusing all my might on not throwing up, I was able to say the following: "Hey...I...am having...a panic...attack... Took a...Xanax, but...it hasn't kicked...in yet... Please...help..."

Before I could say any more, I was being ordered to lie down, close my eyes, take deep breaths.  And in a calming voice, I was hearing, "Deep breath in.  And blow it out.  Deep breath in.  And blow it out.  You're doing good!  Keep it up!! Deep breath in..."

The conversation ended with, "You know what's the best part about this?? No copay!!"

And this, my friends, is why I will drive halfway across the country, if need be, to continue having Dr. S as my doctor.  I don't know many doctors who would do what was done for me today.  And for that, I am incredibly grateful.

Weekly Inspiration

I'm very aware of the fact that most people don't have the type of relationship I have with my neurologist.  Mostly because most doctors aren't as open about themselves with their patients.  They have a job to do - that job is to listen to the patient, treat the patient, and move on to the next patient.

But that approach just didn't work for my doctor and me.  Yes, he listens to me and treats my conditions.  But he doses out more than just prescriptions and medical advice.  He throws in some humor, some spiritual guidance, some thought-provoking words of wisdom.  He truly treats the whole person and not just the condition.

This has led to me having a "different" relationship with my doctor.  I'm open with him.  Open about my health, open about my life, open about what's on my mind.  No question is a dumb question - whether it's a question about my stroke risk or a question about religion.

I know about his family.  I've seen pictures of his family.  Not because they're displayed in his office and I creeped on them, but because he took the time to show me and point out each person in his family.

We email.  Yes, I have my doctor's email address.  Sometimes the emails are about legit neurological things. Sometimes they're just checking in emails.  Sometimes they're about random life questions or discoveries.

Well, I needed a letter from my doctor.  I was all set to pick the letter up this week.  But then life threw me a curve ball, and I had to cancel my appointment.

Knowing my doctor's secretary is on vacation this week (yes, we email as well and she keeps me up on when she and my doctor are going to be out of the office), I had planned to email my doctor about the letter.  I didn't figure he knew about it since I'd only mentioned it to his secretary.

To my surprise, without having to say a word, that wonderful man wrote and mailed out my letter to me.  For no charge.

So, off to email land I went to send him a huge ginormous thank you.  Because he is so humble, he wrote me back like it was no big deal.  And then he threw in some words of encouragement to help me get through this "curve ball."

My inspiration for the week, courtesy of Dr. S --
Stick with it, get plenty of rest, and avoid the fetal position.  Ask God for help.  Remember the words of FDR: "[You] have nothing to fear but fear itself!"  Stay strong and rock this!

To this, I add Isaiah 41:10 - "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

PS I'm thinking I'm going to start trying to post weekly inspirations on Mondays.  Mostly for myself.  But who couldn't use a little weekly inspiration on a Monday?