Random Thought Thursdays

So, I suck at blogging (even though I promised myself I would recommit to it).  Tell me something I don't know.  Moving right along...

Life is still working on figuring itself out.  Correction - I'm still working on trying to figure out my life.  I could be like a large portion of my Facebook newsfeed and thank Obama for still being unsure about life, but I doubt he'll ever read this blog.  Plus, it's not like I'm blameless in this situation.  So what's the point?

Speaking of Facebook newsfeed, the other day I vented to a friend about how much Facebook annoys me at times.  Yet, I can't bring myself to delete my account.  I still have yet to figure out why I continue to torture myself.

All those frustrations led me to the realization that I have a blog.  A blog that I was supposed to be recommitted to.  So, why not start posting all my random thoughts (or rants) here?  Because surely I can't be the only one with these thoughts.

Here's the premiere Random Thought Thursdays post (which could possibly be the last one) --

ONE: Elf on the Shelf.

In case you don't have friends with kids - because I've got tons - this is what I'm about to complain about.  Just giving you a heads up!

Ok, I'll admit, I'm not married and I don't have kids.  So maybe I don't truly "get it."  But, I've seen all my Facebook friends post their adorable elves making unadorable messes on Facebook for a few years now.  Year one, it was cute.  Year two, it was starting to get annoying.  Now, I am seeing more posts of these elves doing dirty (as in inappropriate) things and parents complaining about having to come up with something creative to do with said elves.  Look, if you have to position a child's toy into an inappropriate position/act to find joy, inspiration, motivation to get your kid to behave, it's time to move on.  Try something crazy like disciplining your child when they act up, or telling them "No!", or giving them the classic "Mom look" I got quite a bit of growing up, or (going way out there extreme here) try reading the Bible with them so they see they should behave because God commands them to do so (see Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20).

TWO: Take Note Single Men!

In case you didn't read point one, let me restate the obvious.  I am single. Husbandless.  Childless.  Which means I do basically every life task alone.  Drive places in my car - alone.  Grocery shop - alone.  Live - alone.  I'm alone.  Now, I'm not crying or complaining over that (shout out to my therapist!).  Being alone has been the story of the past 7 years of my life.  But what I am asking is that if you're a dude and you see me out alone, please find a good, creative way to hit on me.  I've heard the classic, awful, cheesy pick-up lines.  Want to win my heart, or my number at the very least, get creative.  Better yet, just be honest with me!  No need trying to be someone you're not.  Truth: if you can make me sincerely laugh - as opposed to awkward, get me out of here ASAP because I'm uncomfortable laugh - there's a good possibility I'll take you up on your date offer.

THREE: Birthday Celebrations.

My 21st birthday celebration, where I managed to blow the candles clear out of the cake.  Because that's how my birthday celebrations go.

And, just in case you can't tell from the above photo caption, my birthday is coming up. Confession: I'm not a big celebrator.  [Insert shock and gasps of disbelief here.]  Yeah, you read that right.  Which means I'm typically not that person who runs around and brags to all her friends about her upcoming "special day."  Nor am I that person who organizes my own party.  So, if you happen to know my birthday is coming up (which you should now since I just told you) and you want to celebrate it, do me a favor and just tell me so.  Because one of my many awkward life traits I possess is that I don't like asking people to celebrate myself.  It's just...awkward...

FOUR: Holiday Hoopla. 

See this picture of this beautiful house all decked out for the holidays (courtesy of Google Images)?  Yeah...my house looks absolutely nothing like this.  Not one tree, not one ornament, not one twinkling light, and I definitely don't have a fireplace.

I could not celebrate any holiday and be perfectly content with my life.  [Insert round two of shock and gasps here.]  I have exactly zero Christmas decorations up at my house.  My mom called me all upset because all of my decorations are still at my parents' house.  Yeah, I didn't shed one tear or have my blood pressure fluctuate one bit at that news.  Now, I love my family and I'm all about spending time with them - especially considering the fact that 2 states currently divide us.  But I don't need a holiday full of stress and stress eating to enjoy spending time with them.  I'd totally support boycotting the holidays for one meaningful family vacation per year - preferably a vacation location that's warm and comes with a beach.

FIVE.  Share the Awkward.

Ok, before you start going off on me on how I'm contradicting myself (see point three), hear me out.  My life is like one big awkward moment.  So, one would think that by this point, I'd be used to it and would be amazing at dealing with the awkwardness.  False.  I have, however, learned how to embrace and include others in on my awkward moments - I share the awkward.  Some story is brought up that makes me uncomfortable (and is specifically brought up to make me uncomfortable), I'll start saying things I know will make everyone else uncomfortable.  They'll start feeling uncomfortable, things will get way awkward for all parties involved, and suddenly the topic will switch gears.  Don't believe me?  Try it!  This method has yet to fail me.  And considering how many awkward moments comprise my life, that's saying a lot!

And there we have it, my blog friends.  The first and possibly last installment of my random thoughts on this cold December Thursday!  I even managed to throw in a few pics (go me!).  Now I shall wait with bated breath for all the hate comments!  Bring it on, haters!!